Yes I've Lost My Hair But I Am Still Beautiful

February Newsletter

Hair lost mistakenly thought to be a strictly male disease; women make up a significant percentage of American hair loss sufferers. Forty percent of women have visible hair loss by the time they are age 40, according to the American Academy of Dermatology. Hair loss in women can be absolutely devastating for self-image and emotional well-being.

Unfortunately, society has forced women to suffer in silence. It is considered far more acceptable for men to go through the same hair loss process. Even more unfortunately, the medical community pays little attention to the issue of women's hair loss. Since hair loss doesn't appear to be life threatening, physicians often overlook women's complaints about hair loss and essentially tell their patients that "it's no big deal," and that "you'll just have to live with it." This leaves many women feeling hopeless, ashamed, depressed and alone. Some stop loving themselves and start thinking they are no longer beautiful so they cover with wigs and hats. They dare not expose the truth to anyone, not even their mate...

This month’s newsletter is to honor the women [and their significant others] who loves themselves and recognizes the beauty in them with or without hair.

Do you love yourself? - Real happiness comes when you love yourself for whatever you are!

We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, and yearning for that special love, feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up but afraid of rejection because you’re afraid he won’t be attracted to you, if you told him the truth… That underneath your wig, there is no hair on your head.

Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, and confidence which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. In order to be able to receive TRUE LOVE, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving your “REAL SELF” will only enhance your ability to love others. By doing so, you are enabling positive energy and allowing for great situations to occur in your life. You need to love yourself first prior to developing any meaningful relationships with others once you’ve learned to do this, the positive energy will attract the right one for you, the one who will see the true beauty of your heart. He will be the one cheering you on; he will be the one proudly walking with you with your exposed bald head. He will be your biggest supporter but YOU have to know that YOU are worthy of love BALD and all!

Written by Angela Whitaker

Never FORGET WHO YOU ARE

I read this most interesting quote this morning while I was doing my routine social media browsing. "Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be". Since coming into my being of a bald woman, this is more relevant. Ever since we were children we are shown images and are led to a certain way that is to become what is expected of us, different than what we are taught at home about morals and behavior; the rights and wrongs of law and how to be a positive contributor in our world. Our parents tell us growing up that we can be anything we want to be, the skies the limit. It’s only when we get older and enter into the school system and with it become a part of the society norm that for most of us we lose that whimsical "skies the limit" thought. We now follow the pact. We alter our appearance to fit in, we change our thought processes and make choices that follow everyone else's. We become another sheep in the pact of white sheep. There is still a few of us that continue to strike out individually and those are look upon as rebels and Nay Sayers. Curious to look upon, frightful to follow and in awed by their courage.

Then every once in a while something happens in our lives that gives us the chance to re-embrace that childhood whimsy that we once held. Or even to find a new path, one that we have the chance to take the courage to strike out on our own. For me that was the day that I shaved my head. All of sudden there I was, not looking anything like what I was expected to look like. And I had the choice.... Find a way to fit in again or make my own look. I choose the latter to no longer to be a pact follower, but to lead out in my own direction, and possibly to lead a new way of thinking for others.

It’s important to remember who we once were, before we were told to fit in. Find that person, and have the courage to follow your own path.

Written by Terri Heshka

Terri is from Edmonton, Alberta - Burlington, Ontario

She leads a support group on Facebook

Bald and Fabulous and has a blog on

baldnfabulous.blogspot.com

I was a bald bride

Tormented by bullies because of her lack of hair, Kylie Baker fought back in the bravest way...

The bridal magazines were full of stunning images - models in white gowns posing with elegant plaits and tumbling curls. As I flicked through the pictures, I couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. Why? Because choosing a hairstyle for my own wedding was something I'd never do.

I'm completely bald and have been for most of the last 20 years. But I have learnt to wear my baldness with pride. I got my first bald patch at the age of six. I used to wear my long brown hair in pigtails. For a while my mum, Joanne, and Dad, Wade, thought they'd been tying them too tight. But even when Mum left my hair loose, the strands still fell out.

Doctors diagnosed me with alopecia areata - a condition where the body's immune system attacks its hair follicles. They didn't know why I'd been affected but they prescribed me tablets and creams, which failed to help. Over the next year I lost not just the hair on my head, but also my eyebrows, eyelashes and even the hairs on my arms.Mum and Dad did what they could, buying me special lotions and hats to wear to school. But the bullies had a field day.

'What's wrong with you, Baldy?' they'd sneer, sending me running to the bathroom to hide. Sometimes I'd come home in tears. Mum could see I was suffering and taught me how to stick up for myself. As I practiced saying 'so what?' with my hands on my hips, I tried to summon the strength to fight back.

By grade three, I'd swapped my hats for an expensive wig made from real European hair. Mum hoped it'd help but it only made me more self-conscious. When I got home from school I couldn't wait to throw it on the floor to play with my younger siblings Crystal and Travis. But if the doorbell rang I'd be in a mad panic to put it back on before anyone could see me. I felt confident enough to show my natural look to close friends, but being bald in front of strangers was another story.

On holiday that year though, for the first time I revealed my secret to people I didn't know. With Mum's support, I found the strength to visit the beach without my wig. And when I started senior school and began playing netball, it made much more sense to go wig-free.

I also started to realise how lucky I was. I wasn't sick. I should be embracing life - making the most of it, as there were a lot of people worse off than me. I began to accept my baldness, but it wasn't easy. After years of bullying, my self-esteem had taken a real battering. How would anyone love me with no hair? Who'd want a bald bride? But after the hell I'd had with hats and wigs, it was liberating not having to worry any more. By the time I left school and started at uni, I was much more confident. My experience had given me a purpose in life - to help others - so I decided to train to become a teacher.

Standing up in front of my first class with my bald head proudly on display was an incredible moment. For so long, I'd hidden myself away - now I was determined to use what I'd been through to educate kids about alopecia.'It's not a sickness,' I told them. 'So I choose not to cover it up.' I even wrote to their parents to explain my condition, urging them to ask questions. Being so open really encouraged people to learn more.

Five months into my new job, I was feeling great. My self-confidence must have been shining through, because it was then that I met Mathew on a night out. I'd had a couple of boyfriends before, but when Mathew pulled me up to dance, I knew he was unique.'Look, I don't have cancer,' I sighed, assuming that's what he'd think. 'It's called alopecia. There's nothing wrong with me.''I know that,' he said, unfazed.

For the next two months Mathew pursued me and when we went on our first official date, I just knew he was The One.He was so easy to chat to - and he accepted me for me. It was something I'd hardly dared dream of when I was younger. When he proposed 18 months later, I was thrilled to say yes!

Two weeks after that, the wedding plans began in earnest. Shopping with Mum and my bridesmaids, I found a gorgeous dress with a long train. I really wanted a veil too, but flicking through the bridal magazines, I saw, of course, that the models wearing veils all had luscious locks keeping them in place.

I experienced a sudden pang of jealousy and doubts crowded my head. Was it possible to feel beautiful as a bald bride? How would a veil ever stay in place? As tears of frustration threatened to overwhelm me, I had to give myself a talking to. If there was one thing I'd learnt, it was that beauty came from confidence. I didn't need a wig for my wedding. I needed to stay strong.

I was thrilled when we found a shop that offered to make a special headband from which a veil could hang. As I tried it on for the first time, Mum couldn't hold back tears of pride. 'You look gorgeous,' she said. And when I walked down the aisle to marry Mathew last month, I did feel gorgeous. It was the happiest day of my life.

I might not have had a single strand of hair, but I felt every inch the beautiful bride. I'm determined to carry that feeling with me forever.

To support the Australian Alopecia Areata Foundation visit www.aaaf.org.au.

Story Courtesy of That's Life Magazine
http://www.thatslife.com.au/Article/Real-Life/Real-Life-Stories/I-was-a-bald-bride

Shaun and Asia

We received this message from Shaun Smith June 27, 2013...

"I wanted to share a picture of my love Asia Nelson. The reason these pictures are so important is because this is the very first time she has left the house without her wig. She has lost her hair over the past 3 years and over the past 2 months lost her eyebrows. I'm very proud of her step forward I've held her hand through every step of the way. She has shown me a strength that I admire. Just thought I'd share this with this group." - Shaun Smith

We decided to reach out to this Asia and get her story on how she meet Shaun and when she shared her condition to him.

SLWA: How did you & he [Shaun] meet?

Asia: My boyfriend and I are both from Southern California, but we actually met in Las Vegas, Nevada, which is about a three hour drive from here. I was 21 and he was 28, and it was a brief encounter at Pure Nightclub in Caesar's Palace in June 2010. He took my phone number, called me a few days later and we've pretty much been inseparable since then.

SLWA: How long have you've been together?

Asia: We have now been together 3 1/2 years.

SLWA: When did you first tell Shaun about your alopecia?

When I was first dating Shaun, I could still wear a weave which would cover my spots, but at that time, it was getting progressively worse. I had alopecia areata at that time which only affected my scalp. About a month into us dating, I had just enough hair to wear a full head weave. I told him about my condition about a month or two after we got together. I don't remember the first time I showed him my spots because he's always been so supportive and understanding of the situation. It's wasn't a big deal when I first showed him because he wanted me to be comfortable.

SLWA: How did Shaun initially react?

Asia: He is and has always been so supportive. He looks at me without my wig and even when I was spotty and tell me how completely gorgeous I am.

SLWA: How supportive has he been?

Asia: In the summer of 2011, I had more bald spots than hair and Shaun convinced me just to cut it all off. I remember this day so clearly. He took out a stool and his clippers and asked me if I was ready. I cried my eyes out as I watched my hair fall to the ground. When he was all done, I felt my head and cried more. I refused to look into the mirror. He brought a mirror to me and I saw my tear drenched face and puffy eyes and bald head. He grabbed me and told me how proud he was of me and how beautiful I am and he loved me. It was a very freeing day.

SLWA: Does he have an issue with being you in public without a wig?

Asia: Shaun tried to get me to go out without my wig immediately, but at that time I was uncomfortable because you could see spots in my head and see that I had a "problem". My alopecia progressed to alopecia totalis as of spring 2013 and I lost my eyebrows, all hair on my body and half of my eyelashes on my right eye. My hair hasn't grown back since I cut it off and I am okay with that. Shaun and I went camping February 2013 and I went out without my wig so the sun could hit my scalp and even out my color. I went the whole weekend without my wig! It was only us the whole weekend and we only came across about 5 people that whole weekend, but it was progress. After that, I felt more comfortable since my head was even. My first official time in public without my wig was June or July of 2013. I put my makeup on and was about to put on my wig, when Shaun suggested I leave my wig behind. He told me I look stunning and should embrace my beauty without my wig and he is proud of holding me on his arm. I listened and I went without my hair. I felt very uncomfortable walking outside, especially around neighbors who are used to seeing me with hair. My neighbor, who is really close to Shaun and I, complimented me and others waved like always and acted normal. When we got in the car, Shaun held my hand and made sure I felt okay and was comfortable. I told him I was not comfortable, but I was okay and I needed to do this. We had to stop at Walmart to print some pictures and the young black lady who helped us complimented me on my head and told me, "I rocked it well". We then went to eat at a Thai place and went home. My first public day out was a success! I felt really good. I started going out more and more without my wig and I get complimented everywhere! Everyone tells me how nice I look without my hair and I always hear about how nicely my head is shaped. LOL.

SLWA: What advice would you give to a single woman that has alopecia struggling with the idea of letting someone get closer to here for fear that her condition may run her potential mate?

Asia: If someone is a good person, they're a good person. I would suggest mentioning the condition to a potential mate within the first three months. No one wants to get involved with someone and tell them about the alopecia 6 months in and they leave. Tell the person within the first few months of dating to see of they are even worth your interest and attachment. Being beautiful does not mean having hair and we all want someone who can make us feel beautiful and comfortable as is. I wake up in the morning bald, with only half an eyebrow on one side and no eyebrow on the other and Shaun looks at me tells me I am the most beautiful person in the world. When I get home from work and still have my eyebrows on, he wipes them off and kisses them. From when I first wake up in the morning to when I am made up to go hit the town, he appreciates all aspects of my beauty and proud to have me as I am whether bald or with a wig. These days hair is an accessory so when I feel like it, I wear a wig and if I don't, then I don't. Being comfortable with you is most important. We are not our hair.


Interviewed by Stacie Ferrell-Tucker

More Love Stories

Mindy Bell's Story Then: I had my first experience with Alopecia when I was 17 (1992). I noticed it looked like my hair had been shaved over my ears. Then within a week, there were spots all over my head. I panicked and went to the doctor. My doctor ran all sorts of tests, even biopsied my head! Then they determined it was Alopecia and sent me to a dermatologist. We tried several treatments without success, at which point he told me to just live with it. I was devastated. I went to school my senior year wearing a cheap wig. My boyfriend at the time basically said, "I thought I had a pretty girlfriend. Now look at you." I felt so low. After about 18 months my hair grew back. I didn't have any problems until I started having kids. Then I struggled with spots and treatments, finally shaving off what was not enough to get by. I purchased a vacuum prosthetic hairpiece and have never looked back. It was a relief to just accept it. I even get my eyebrows tattooed. In the meantime, I earned my bachelors and masters degree in psych and am working towards state licensure, which should be accomplished by next summer. I hope to specialize in counseling women with hair loss and other appearance issues some day. I also hope that my support group grows so that I am able to help fund the purchase of vacuum prosthetics for other individuals with Alopecia, because it was so helpful for me and these pieces are so expensive, yet so high quality. I really want to turn this experience into something positive and help as many other women as possible.

Happy In Love Now... My boyfriend when I was 17 and first experienced Alopecia was not very supportive, as you may have deduced lol. His name was Chris and when my hair was falling out, he expressed what I stated previously, disappointment that I was losing my beauty, which apparently he valued more than who I was as a person. When I reached the point of buying a wig, he told me not to tell anyone, that they would think I was a freak. If we got into an argument, he would rip my wig off and throw it across the room and call me ugly and a freak. Needless to say, he was awful and abusive. I left him after being together for almost 2 years.

When I first "met" my current boyfriend Mike, it was on a dating site. We quickly moved from messaging on the site to texting on our cell phones. He asked me "What's you biggest flaw" and I was like, "well, not sure I'm ready to answer that." He responded with, "Come on, we are getting to know each other!" So I told him it was physical and he asked if I had a beard lol. I was like, "Quite the opposite!" and I gave him an abbreviated run down of my Alopecia timeline, letting him know that I came to a place of acceptance with it and even started a support group, making something good out of a difficult experience. He responded with a text that said he wasn't sure if i was kidding, but if not, he wanted wanted no parts of it, followed by "Just kidding, I'm a real man" and went on to say that he can tell I am a real woman and he thinks I'm amazing. We met in person a few days later, and on my way to the restaurant he texted, "You ready for your last first date?" When he walked in, I was sold! Best first date ever! He is just the sweetest, most supportive man I ever met. I knew he was really falling for me when a couple of weeks after our first date he texted a link to an article about Alopecia research. We have been together for three months now and I just feel so blessed to ave someone love me for ME, because I won't settle for anything less.

Courtesy of Sisters Living With Alopecia's Facebook

Pam Hernandez's Story:
My name is Pam Hernandez, and I have Alopecia. My husband John and I met when I was twelve. We lost touch till I was fifteen, we crossed paths by chance! We married very young and have three amazing kids! I have been through alot of medical issues, and he has been there through them all. When I lost my hair some of it did grow back, but I was left with many bald spots. So I decided to stay bald. I don't feel comfortable wearing wigs so I use scarves, hats and beanies. I also never wore much makeup, just eye liner and lip gloss. I began to feel like I needed more makeup on to be beautiful. My husband, says to me,"you don't need to do that, you are beautiful,I love you for your loving, caring, heart, besides you being bald is sexy to me!!" He is very encouraging when it comes to me going out in public bald, he is never embarrassed of me! I feel so beautiful when i'm around him because of how much he loves me!! He is a blessing, my rock and my soul mate!!
No matter how someone looks there is some one who will make them feel loved and beautiful. God made us beautiful inside and out, our other half is out there, I found mine 17 years ago, his name is John Hernandez!!!


Courtesy of Sisters Living With Alopecia's Facebook Page.

Tina Benthall and James Benthall


Beautiful Loving Couple Enjoying Spa Time Together... How cute!

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Landon and Makayla has been longtime friends. Landon meet Makayla during a Pageant. Makayla was sitting alone, while the girls in the pageant bonded. What started as a friendly and polite gesture made by Landon turned out to be a lasting friendship...

A true friendship, Landon and Makayla met in 2011 while doing a pageant. All of the kids were running around playing. It was then that Landon noticed Makayla sitting playing by herself, so he went over and said,"Hi I'm Landon." Makayla was playing with her barbies and ask Landon, "do you want to play with me?" He said sure, I'll play (he had notice the other girls wouldn't play with her). He had watched Makayla's mom put a wig on her before they went onstage, after the pageant he said to his mother, "I know why those girls was mean and didn't want to play with Makayla." "So what if she doesn't have much hair and wears a wig. That's just mean, I like her she's nice he said." The others laughed at Landon for playing barbies with MaKayla, but Landon didn't care. He had found a new friend. Landon and Makayla has been best best friends ever since. They don't get to see each other much during the school year but always make play dates in the summer and when they're together you can see the love of their friendship. Landon's very protective over his friends and he doesn't see Makayla any different. All he see's is his friend!

Written by Stacie Ferrell-Tucker

I Rock Alopecia!!

SpotLight


Tiffany Brice, Phenomenal Bald Beauty 2013-2014

Tiphani Sheree' Brice was born July 15, 2004 in Lancaster, CA to the parents of David and Penny Brice. She lives in Garland, TX. Tiphani attends Toler Elementary. Her favorite subject is reading and math. Her favorite color is yellow. Tiphani is the youngest child, out of six. She has 4 sisters, and 1 brother. Tiphani has always been a "Daddy's girl". Like any average 9 year old, she is spoiled! But she is headstrong, adventurous, inquisitive, and wants to know the answer to everything. She has always known she wants. Tiphani aspires to be a nurse, just like her mother.

Tiphani is truly an outdoor person. She loves going to the park, and riding her bike when she is allowed. She is also a water baby! She loves being in the water! Swimming is her favorite past time. What she enjoys most, is being with her dad. She is truly his sidekick! She is definitely family oriented, and loves taking trips and staying in hotels! She even stated once, I wish we could live here!

Tiphani was diagnosed March 12, 2013, with Alopecia Areata. By mid May, she was almost completely bald. It really didn't bother her at first, but by the time most of her hair was gone, she wanted to know.....why?

This is the first year that Tiphani has made the honor roll. She has remained focused, and made to the A-B Honor roll. Winning "Phenomenal Bald Beauty" has truly encouraged her to be a leader, her self confidence has reached a whole new level. The encouragement and support she has received, has helped lift her self esteem, and boost her confidence into overdrive! Tiphani wants to uphold her duties as Phenomenal Bald Beauty of the Year. She is very excited about upcoming events. Tiphani thanks SLWA for all the support they have given her. Check out Tiphani's video link below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOrq9hBfNlQ

Tiphani was chosen as Sisters Living With Alopecia 's Phenomenal Bald Beauty of the Year because her picture received the most likes on our Facebook page. If you are a woman with alopecia or have a young daughter with alopecia, submit your picture(s) on our Facebook page to be considered as our weekly Alopecia Beauty of the Week. The picture with the most likes by December 30th wins the title. In the event that there's a tie, the picture with most comments wins.

- Angela Whitaker

Quote of the Month: Don’t Worry if you’re SINGLE. God is looking at you right now, saying, “I’m saving this one for someone SPECIAL.” – Annette Powell

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Yes I've Lost My Hair But I Am Still Beautiful

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Saturday, February 1, 2014

February Bulletin

Never FORGET WHO YOU ARE


March Newsletter


Kimberly McDonald Taylor


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